Dear Darline, I'm so stressed because my entire family is putting so much pressure on me to attend college but I don't know what to do.. Please help me!!
I definitely know how much pressure families tend to put on us when we're at the age of an adult transition. I felt like I had the weigh of the world as the first born to do everything right. What you need to do is to carefully think about what you want from life and how will you obtain it. If this is a little overwhelming then ask yourself these questions;
What quality of life I envision myself living? (be realistic don't say "millionaire")
What's going to be my college major? Will I be happy in 10 years with this career choice?
I you have the answers to these questions then you are well on your way to figuring out what to do. Just remember one thing although your family wants the best for your future the only person walking in your shoes will be you, no one else will live your life for you if you are unhappy with your choices. Think thoroughly, live safely but overall be happy! I hope I've helped you, if you need anything else don't hesitate to ask.
Why do you have to pretend to not care in order for a person to care?? this doesnt compute in my brain. help. how do i stop caring so much about people who dont care about me?
Unfortunately this is the reality of things, people just don't give a fuck and are selfish, I many times have been guilty of this sin, but in terms of the people around you, you just need to narrow down your circle, for example mine includes my family and then my two best friends after that I have a small circle of 5-7 people for which I care about, everyone else is an acquaintance, I don't wish them anything bad but at the same time I keep my distance. Allow me to tell you one thing, stop caring so much PERIOD, care about yourself and those who you know are 1000% there for you, not the ones who say but the kind that will get up in the middle of the night because you need a friend. Don't pretend to be anything you aren't, care about yourself and those close to you, if others don't care about you then they are not worth being in your life because it sounds to me like you're a good person with a great heart. Don't be afraid to be an asshole sometimes.
You know your stuff, this isn't the first time someone told me to be an asshole every once in a while but being nice is my nature, how do I fundamentally change myself?
The solution isn't changing yourself, it is simply finding a balance between the two. I can be the kindest person in the world and I'm pretty certain my friends can testify on my behalf, I am helpful and I don't mind dropping whatever I'm doing in a second to help my friends in need, but beware if you cross me because what you'll see isn't pretty. Like I previously said be extremely careful who you let it because our lives should be precious and our friendships worth more than gold, think more highly of yourself and just know that those who don't deserve your love/friendship are not worth being in your life. It's okay to be a bit reserved, if you are cautious with the people you let in and worry less about being so nice to everyone, trust me- you will be happy and feel like a weight has been lifted of your shoulders.
Dear Darline, I'm so stressed because my entire family is putting so much pressure on me to attend college but I don't know what to do.. Please help me!!
ReplyDeleteThanks,
Anonymous2U
Dear Anonymous2U,
ReplyDeleteI definitely know how much pressure families tend to put on us when we're at the age of an adult transition. I felt like I had the weigh of the world as the first born to do everything right. What you need to do is to carefully think about what you want from life and how will you obtain it. If this is a little overwhelming then ask yourself these questions;
What quality of life I envision myself living? (be realistic don't say "millionaire")
What's going to be my college major? Will I be happy in 10 years with this career choice?
I you have the answers to these questions then you are well on your way to figuring out what to do. Just remember one thing although your family wants the best for your future the only person walking in your shoes will be you, no one else will live your life for you if you are unhappy with your choices. Think thoroughly, live safely but overall be happy! I hope I've helped you, if you need anything else don't hesitate to ask.
Take Care Anonymous2U
Dear Darline
DeleteWhy do you have to pretend to not care in order for a person to care?? this doesnt compute in my brain. help. how do i stop caring so much about people who dont care about me?
Dear Anonymous,
DeleteUnfortunately this is the reality of things, people just don't give a fuck and are selfish, I many times have been guilty of this sin, but in terms of the people around you, you just need to narrow down your circle, for example mine includes my family and then my two best friends after that I have a small circle of 5-7 people for which I care about, everyone else is an acquaintance, I don't wish them anything bad but at the same time I keep my distance. Allow me to tell you one thing, stop caring so much PERIOD, care about yourself and those who you know are 1000% there for you, not the ones who say but the kind that will get up in the middle of the night because you need a friend. Don't pretend to be anything you aren't, care about yourself and those close to you, if others don't care about you then they are not worth being in your life because it sounds to me like you're a good person with a great heart. Don't be afraid to be an asshole sometimes.
Take Care
You know your stuff, this isn't the first time someone told me to be an asshole every once in a while but being nice is my nature, how do I fundamentally change myself?
DeleteThe solution isn't changing yourself, it is simply finding a balance between the two. I can be the kindest person in the world and I'm pretty certain my friends can testify on my behalf, I am helpful and I don't mind dropping whatever I'm doing in a second to help my friends in need, but beware if you cross me because what you'll see isn't pretty. Like I previously said be extremely careful who you let it because our lives should be precious and our friendships worth more than gold, think more highly of yourself and just know that those who don't deserve your love/friendship are not worth being in your life. It's okay to be a bit reserved, if you are cautious with the people you let in and worry less about being so nice to everyone, trust me- you will be happy and feel like a weight has been lifted of your shoulders.
Delete